Quill And Parchment
by ItsLily2U
Summary: The closest James has ever gotten to the one (and only, for the most part) girl that he fancies is staring at her during their lessons... Will she give him the one chance he so desperately needs and wants? Lily, on the other hand, is a firm believer in fa


"Potter! Aren't you paying _any_ attention?"

James started and turned guiltily to the front of the class. "A bit…"

"That's what I thought five minutes ago when I asked you that question. Kindly meet me after class."

James shared a sidelong look with two of his best mates. Each grinned and shook his head. Remus Lupin did, because he was thinking James might never grow up, even if he was Head Boy. Sirius Black, because he knew James was getting ahead on his detentions; it would never do to allow Potter to get more detentions that him!

James threw down his overly-chewed on quill with a defeated air and leaned back in his chair. He ruffled his hair with a slight annoyance about him and frowned around the room. The day wasn't going exactly the way he wanted it to.

He watched Professor McGonagall as she paced the front of the room, deep into her speech. He knew she was talking something about the N.E.W.T.'s, but he didn't bother to listen. He scanned the rest of the room, surveying each of it's occupants with something close to interest.

His gaze was drawn longer on a girl in the middle of the room, two desks over. She had curly red hair that was spilling over her shoulders, which were sagging slightly. James knew for a fact that she must be tired- he'd seen her in the common room late the night before. She was scribbling madly on a slip of parchment, though he couldn't tell what it was for. She paused for a moment, looking around the room. James's frown softened considerably as her eyes locked onto his- and, much to his surprise- she blushed slightly and bent her head back over her work. She would stop every few seconds, to dip her quill in her ink, and every time she did, James silently begged her to look up at him again. He wanted to know what that blush was about.

Lily Evans had never shown the slightest bit of interest in him. In fact, she'd always been quite cold around him- ignoring him or looking at him with that fixed stare that only she possessed when he was about to do something wrong… Like a prank. It always made him feel bad to do it, too.

But, even though she tried to ignore him, he knew she had a hard time. Or, at least, she _hoped_ she did. He liked to think so, anyway, because sometimes when he walked into classrooms or the Great Hall, he would scan the room for her, just to see her again, and she would be looking at him. Not staring, as though she fancied him, but more of a curious, fascinated look, like she wanted to know something about him. Still, it was enough to give him hope.

The only problem with that was that sometimes, when he would look around to make sure no one was watching before he did something, like throw something at a Slytherin, he would see her looking at him, and he wouldn't be able to do it. Something in those emerald-like eyes of hers kept him from it. He wasn't able to do it as long as she was there.

Also knowing that she was Head Girl and not afraid to tell him off kept him good.

As he watched her, she sighed in relief and started pushing her things into her bag.

"Potter?"

For the second time in ten minutes, James jumped. "Yes, Professor?" he put on his most charming smile.

"You do realize the bell rang." It wasn't a question.

James glanced around at the other people, all of whom were either gathering their things or running for the doors. His eyes lingered for a moment on Lily as she knocked over one of her books. With a groan, she bent down to pick it up off the floor.

"Sure… I did." James grinned, picking up his bag.

Professor McGonagall frowned at him, in her tight-lipped way. She looked down at her desk and started to put away a few things. "I had wished that, as Head Boy, you might try to set a better example for your peers by possibly paying attention every once in a while in class, not staring absently at… well, around the _room_." She gave him a very knowing look, indeed.

"I'm sorry, Professor, I'll try better next class." James glanced at Lily, who was just exiting the room.

"I hope so. Now off with you."

James nodded in relief and ran the length of the classroom. At the door, he smiled happily at seeing Lily not walking with anyone. He knew she usually walked with her friends to class. "Hey, Lily!" he called.

She turned slowly, eyebrows raised. "Potter?"

"Some class, eh?"

"Suppose."

"Look, I was wondering if I could walk you to your next class."

Lily carefully eyed the hopeful smile on his lips, the uncertainty in his hazel eyes, the way he fidgeted with the tip of his quill absently. She sighed deeply and frowned, before turning to walk down the corridor. "I guess it won't hurt. Besides, we're going to the same place."

James bounced excitedly and stepped up beside her.

>>>>>

Lily Evans was aggravated… Something she _rarely_ was.

It annoyed her to no end that she couldn't get the words just right. As they were, they sounded horrible and sloppy- they needed to be _perfect._ Flawless. Without fault. As it was going, she was having no such luck. "I'll need a miracle from bloody Merlin…" she muttered, angrily throwing down her quill.

When she used that particular quill, her friends knew to watch out. That quill had been used in the worst and best times of Lily's Hogwarts life. She used it to write her first letter home, her first apology to Pet (for something she couldn't even remember), and her first paper with a grade that was lower than an E… But she loved the quill to pieces. When she was seriously working, she pulled it out of it's special place (a drawer in her desk that was empty, with the exception of the quill). No one touched the quill and no one else used it.

It was bent in many places (rather obvious proof of all the times she'd thrown it down angrily, as she just had), ink-stained (obvious proof that it had been used much), pieces of the feather were missing (rather obvious proof that it wasn't a new quill), it was even singed on the tip (rather obvious proof that it had been through just about anything and everything). It was her special quill.

Lily loved to write… She wrote about anything she felt. If she was one of her exceptionally good moods (which was quite often), she could spend days, just writing… Her friends said her moods determined what she wrote and what she wrote determined her mood… In a sense, they were right.

She wrote about things that she had seen happen- and things that just floated out of her imagination… She used people she had met, places she had been, and the neat things she'd seen in almost all of her stories. Sometimes, she even wrote what she was feeling. It was her way of sorting her feelings and putting them back together, to make sense… It worked.

So, when asked what she was "constantly scribbling about," Lily could truthfully answer: anything. All anyone knew was that she was very secretive about her work. Her friends didn't dare ask if they could read her things, they knew she would bristle up like an old hen if they did. They were always curious, however, when she took to staying up past two in the morning down in the common room and muttering about how "this would sound good…" which she did about once or twice a year. Her "fits," as they had been so expertly named, usually lasted about two or three weeks, or however long it took for her to write with the exact effect she desired.

They hardly ever saw her huge stacks of parchment or notebooks after she finished fussing over them- she didn't keep them in her trunk or on her desk. Even if she did, as much as she wrote, she would have to have at least a dozen trunks to hold it all.

So when Lily took to one of her fits, they left her to her own devices, knowing she liked it better that way.

Like they had for the past fortnight… though every one of her friends was somewhat surprised (if not completely miffed) to find that Lily had started carrying her favorite quill with her wherever she went… to lessons, to dinner, outside for a walk. She hadn't ever actually taken it anywhere with her, so they weren't too sure if they could still talk to her in classes, like they had, even during her past fits.

Anyone who knew Lily at all knew of this unspoken rule… So on one fine Saturday afternoon in the middle of October, as Lily sat under her favorite tree, scrawling away at her parchment, it was quite surprising to see James Potter walking over to Lily, determination written all over his face.

"Is he sane at all?" Alice Montgomery whispered, blue eyes quite round as she watched James approaching her best friend.

"I'm starting to think not!" Marie Allen said back.

Alice looked around at her friends. "Should we stop him?"

"No! Let's see what happens. Marie's twin, Leslie leaned forward, so as to see Lily better.

"But she'll hex him- or worse, knock him into the lake!"

"It won't be the first time."

"Oh! You two are horrible! Don't you agree with me, Mar-"

"I'd rather like to see this…" Marsha Lawson (the sheepish one of the group) said timidly.

Alice crossed her arms, disappointed that even shy little Marsha hadn't taken her side. She stared irately at her three friends. "You're all so tactless. Really-"

"Shh! We can't hear!" Marie held up her hand.

Alice rolled her eyes and frowned disapprovingly at them. She knew Lily better than anyone- and she knew that Lily hated to be interrupted, especially when writing. She also knew that Lily's normally good disposition was turned to nothing around James Potter- she had been refusing him for seven years, after all… So between the two, Lily was sure to snap.

Lily leaned lazily back against the tree, looking back over her parchment. Finally… it was starting to sound better. She smiled and nibbled on the end of her quill, still deep in thought. As if drawn upwards, Lily looked out across the lake. It looked so peaceful… She loved to just sit and look at it on lovely evenings like this.

Sensing someone behind her tree, she sighed and tucked her parchment out of sight.

"Erm… hi, Lily. Would you care if I sit here?"

A chill ran up and down Lily's spine as she leaned around her tree to find James Potter standing a few feet away. She felt a rare blush creeping up her cheeks. "Sure." she whispered, turning back to the lake, trying to hide her flaming cheeks.

James smiled slightly and took a seat on the grass next to Lily.

She glanced over at him, wondering why she suddenly felt so very shy. She _never_ had a problem around Potter! She _wasn't _like all those other girls, swooning every time he came into the room or looked up at them. She never cried when he went on the occasional Hogsmeade date with someone other than herself. She _didn't_ feel weak in the knees at his smile. She _didn't_ blush when he looked her way… Lily _wasn't_ like those other girls… Often.

James looked up at the same time and their eyes met. Lily felt her heart skip a beat. She snapped her head back around to face the lake… Convincing herself that she wasn't blushing or breathing strangely around him! She wasn't!

"So… erm… what are you doing out here?" Lily asked… Nearly cursing herself when she heard how breathless and hopeful she sounded.

"I felt like being out for a bit, and I saw you, so I came over."

"Oh. That's good." Lily said coldly… Now nearly cursing herself for how rude and heartless she sounded.

She felt horrible the moment she looked into his eyes… He looked hurt and disappointed for a moment, before quickly hiding the look with a forced smile. He got to his feet and brushed off his robes. "Sorry for bothering you, then." He turned to go.

Lily could have hit herself. She turned back to the lake, feeling angry.

Though she acted like she hadn't, she really had noticed how… different James was that year. He was more mature… Not cursing people in the corridors just for kicks, he tutored first years occasionally, and (many people gasped the first time they witnessed it) he studied almost every night. He made an effort. Especially with Lily- he'd been nothing all year but respectful and civil. She wanted then, more than ever, to make an effort, too, but she couldn't admit she'd been wrong… She was too stubborn for that.

"Actually, you know what, Lily? I do have a question for you." He was back… And not smiling this time.

Lily turned to him and swallowed hard. She knew it wasn't going to be one of those easy-to-answer questions. What she didn't know was if it would be a relief to get out whatever he was about to ask her or if she would regret it more. Gradually, she lifted herself to her feet.

"Why can't you just give me a _chance_?"

Lily looked down at his feet, so as to not have to look into his eyes. She swallowed again and bit her lip. She was right… it wasn't an easy-to-answer question.

"I mean, really, what would one date hurt? Is it going to kill you? Would it be too embarrassing to be seen with me, James the _jerk _know-it-all, Potter the _arrogant _Quidditch star, Prongs the _prankster_ who only loves himself?" Lily felt her heart breaking. "Is that it? Or do you just like knowing that someone actually fancies you enough to embarrass himself in front of the _entire_ school!" James was seething down at her, his hands clenched in fists at his sides.

Slowly, Lily looked at up him. "You… you really fancy me?" she whispered.

James's angry look faded into one of disappointed surprise. "You mean to tell me you're asking that after six years." he said torpidly. He could only stare at her.

Lily blushed lightly and stared back down at her feet, head hanging. "I didn't think you really… that you really…" Her throat grew tight.

James snorted and threw up one of his hands in defeat. "So you thought it was just another prank the Marauders could add to their list to laugh over later." he said tonelessly, eyes glued to the tops of the trees in the Forbidden Forest.

"Yes." Lily said so softly James barely heard her. He looked at her.

"You really think I'd do that to someone?" he asked. He wished she could have just yelled at him and left… this was much worse. "You really do think that I'm an arrogant, big-headed, stubborn, heartless, bullying pain in the arse who pranks for fun, then." He ran a hand distractedly through his hair. "You know… all this time, I thought that you never _really_ meant it when you said all that. I thought that surely, no one could feel that horribly about someone without knowing them or with good reason to think those things… I thought you just used them as an excuse, that maybe you were afraid of something… that you never meant it." James paused, hand in mid-air. "I guess I was wrong." His voice shook. He turned his back on her, eyes closed, and walked away.

Lily's lip trembled as she stared after him. "James…" Her voice shook, too.

James stopped. It was the first time she'd ever called him by his first name.

"I _was_ afraid." She took a few steps closer to him. "I was afraid that you were just going to go on a date, get what you wanted, and leave me. I'm the one girl that all guys want and none can have. I've heard them talking, James… I know what they say. I thought you were just wanting to be that one guy who did. So I dealt with it the best way I… the best way I could. I ignored and shunned you." James turned to look at her, an unreadable expression on his face. Lily's head was hanging again, and even as he looked, a single tear made it's way down her pale cheek. "I'm sorry… I never knew you. Never even tried." Lily felt like falling through a dark hole in the ground… She wished the giant squid would reach out of the lake with one of his nasty tentacles and pull her in… She wished a dragon would fly along and breathe fire on her, toasting her to bits. "I'm sorry." she whispered again.

James gaped at her, unable to do anything else… He took a step toward her, almost shyly, but Lily dodged around him with a sob.

And he could only watch her go.

>>>>

"What… was… that!" Marie gasped, still staring at the place Lily was only moments before.

"Did Lily just…"

"And James- did he…"

"They did!" Marsha stared.

"I can't believe it."

"What, that she didn't snap his neck for interrupting her writing…"

"Or that she said she likes him."

"She never _said_ she likes him."

"Oh, come on! Would you look at her? She's crying and running. She may not have said it, but I think she meant it."

"Why doesn't he go after her!" Leslie cried indignantly.

"He respects her." Alice said quietly, entering the conversation for the first time. She nodded in approval. "And loves her." she added softly, so that none of the others heard.

"Well… shouldn't someone go after her, since he isn't?"

"No." Alice said. She smiled. "She needs a few minutes. Then, we can all go up to her and cheer her with all of Honeyduke's best."

"Erm-guys!" Marsha pointed to Lily's tree.

The other three swivelled around. "What?"

"She left… her…" Marsha said faintly, dropping her arm to her side.

"_Quill_ _and_ _parchment_!"

>>>>

James bent down slowly, holding his breath. He felt that lightning should be striking him at any moment… He couldn't read it. He _shouldn't_ read it. It wasn't his _to_ read! And after his previous conversation with the ever-elusive Miss Evans, he knew better than to make her angry. Merlin, it was just _wrong_ to read other people's things…

But he was itching with curiosity. Burning, really.

He kneeled down and took the parchment in his hands gingerly, hardly believing what he was about to do.

With a sharp shake, he looked back up at the castle. He couldn't read something of Lily's without asking! With a sigh, he started to roll up the parchment-

Until one word caught his eye.

James rolled over onto his stomach. Oh, it was confusing… Yet it explained everything.

He flipped back over onto his back. He'd never be able to sleep, not without talking to her first. No! He wasn't going to say anything to her about it! He didn't want her embarrassed or angry with him. No, he wasn't going to say a _thing_ about it.

With an audible groan, James sat up wildly and ruffled his hair.

"Merlin, Prongs! Just go to _bloody_ sleep!" Sirius cried. He aimed a pillow at James's head, but hit the wooden post of James's four-poster, instead.

James ignored him and took his wand from his bedside table. "_Lumos_!" He reached for his glasses (so he could actually see _something_) and found the piece of parchment.

"Bloody hell, Prongs. I'm about to curse you! What's with all the light? It's nearly _three_!"

"You've kept us up on plenty of occasions, Padfoot, and I _don't_ recall it ever being for anything as _innocent_ as light." James snorted in response.

There was a light snickering on his left.

"Plenty of occasions." Remus chuckled.

"_I'll_ say." Peter whispered loudly.

"Oh, sod off, the lot of you." Sirius snarled.

James leaned back on his bed and stared at Lily's even writing. He'd seen her scribbling on this very parchment- yet it was still much neater than his writing ever could be.

"Then again… what's with the odd _behaviour_, Prongs?"

"Nothing, Moony, don't know what you mean, mate."

"Sure you do, Prongs!" James could just see Sirius's head between the hangings of his four-poster.

"We'll never leave you alone." Remus, too, was peeking out of his four-poster.

"So fess up!" Peter added, looking very much like a mouse as he pushed his head through his hangings.

"You know we'll torture you till the last days of your life."

"Oh! I got it!" Sirius yelled. "We'll drag _Evans_ up here! Maybe _she_ can get it out of him!"

James stared around the room. "Some bloody mates you lot are." He pushed the parchment under his pillow.

"Huh-uh. That under-the-pillow-thing? It doesn't work." Remus smirked.

James took the parchment back out and held it carefully in his hands. He looked around the room, weighing his chances…

In one leap, he was out of his four-poster and across the dorm, the parchment clutched safely in his hands.

He sprinted down the stairs, very aware of the three "friends" closely following him.

>>>>

"Aw… well, Lils, why don't you do something about it?"

"Yeah, I'm sure you wouldn't be met with too much _resistance_."

"Oh, you lot, shut it."

"Feeling the love, eh?"

"Aw! Our little Lil is all grown up!"

"Some friends you are!" Lily snorted. She pushed the four girls off her lap, where they'd been "fawning" over her. "I'm going to bed, you lot exhaust me."

"_But_ _you_ _love_ _us_ _for_ _it_!" Marie giggled as Lily climbed over the back of the couch. With a dismissive wave of her hand, she disappeared up the girls' stairs.

"What _should_ we do about her?" Leslie sniggered.

"I think we should find a way to get them together. But… how?"

Marsha yawned. "You know, I agree… But right now, Lil's got the right idea. I'm going to bed. Night."

"Aw, come on, let's all go. We can brainstorm later."

They made a sad attempt at picking up their mess, but gave up, leaving the left-over candy wrappers where they were.

Marsha, being the last to start up the stairs, had only just disappeared around the corner, when she heard a loud noise of someone charging into the common room. She pulled lightly on Alice's robe. "Look!" she whispered as the four Marauders came barging into the room, James in the lead.

"Just _give_ _us_ _the_ _parchment_-" Sirius lunged at him.

"And we swear not to hurt you!" Remus grabbed at James's robe as he flew past.

"On our honor, as the other three-fourths of the Marauders!" Peter gasped, blocking the portrait hole.

"Like bloody _hell_ I will!" James growled.

"Don't make me hex you, Prongs." Sirius said wearily, as though bored already.

"Just tell us what's on it!" Remus sighed. Between him and Sirius, James was almost cornered.

"Why? It's not even _yours_!"

"It's not yours _either_, from what we've gathered."

Alice, Marsha, Marie, and Leslie glanced around at each other, eyebrows raised. They all looked back toward the common room, leaning forward eagerly.

"Yeah? What have you gathered, O Might Ones?" James laughed as he dove between the two. "I didn't mean to read it. I don't mean you to, _either_!" He dodged as Remus ran at him. "Oi! You aren't getting it from me!"

"We will, Prongs, we will." Sirius laughed as well. "You've only been staring at that bloody parchment for the entire afternoon, since you came up to the dorm, _drooling_ over it."

"It's only a matter of time." Remus chuckled as Sirius jumped at James, who toppled over the back of the couch. "Merlin, when'd you get so _fast_?"

"Argh! You need a new hobby!" James said, but his eyes were laughing as he tumbled backwards, over Peter's foot. He scrambled to his feet with a yelp and stepped out of reach. "And I've always been fast. I'm just _that_ good!"

"You kidding? What could be more fun than- oof! I've _got_ you! I've got him!" Sirius yelled, tackling James to the ground.

"Geroff me!" James yelped.

"Got it!" Remus called triumphantly. "Ha!"

James groaned and tried to wiggle away from Sirius, who was sitting on him.

"Read it!"

"No- seriously, guys- please don't!" James pleaded. "Bloody Morgana, Padfoot, lose some weight!"

"Aww… poor Prongsie is pleading! How pathetic. Read it anyway, Moony!" Sirius cackled. "And I probably _have _lost five pounds, chasing you call over the castle."

"It's good for you, then, you smarmy git!" James made a sound between disgust and frustration. He glared up at Moony, as though daring him to read it.

Remus, however, was staring keenly at the parchment. "Merlin… There's _no_ way." he said bluntly, his brown eyes wide. "Is this…" he glanced up at James.

"What!" Sirius and Peter were at his side in an instant. James kept where he was and crossed his arms defiantly. He frowned up at his _former_ fellow Marauders from the floor.

"Oh, bloody Merlin…"

"You're _joking_!"

>>>>

"Talk about a revelation…" Remus shook his head, still staring directly at the parchment.

"Never would have thought it was possible!" Sirius agreed faintly, falling back on his four-poster.

"You-"

"Shut it, Wormtail!" James snapped. "And you!" He glared at Remus and Sirius. He threw himself down on his bed, softening suddenly. "I went out by the lake today and sat with her."

"You wha- seriously?"

"Mm." James smiled. "But I think I offended her, or something, because one minute she was nice, the next, angry, and then… I went to leave and she looked sad. But when I asked her…"

"You asked her why she won't give you a chance!"

James looked up suspiciously. "Erm… How did you know that, Moony?"

"I'm brilliant. I've expected you to ask her that forever. Especially since she's been staring at you in class lately." Remus smirked. "Anyway, what'd she say back?"

"Well… after I kind of went all psycho-Prongs on her, asking her if… well, I was a little angry, so I asked her if she would be too embarrassed to be with me, or if she just liked knowing that someone actually fancies her enough to make a prat of himself in front of the entire school…"

Remus shook his head again. "All that did was fire her up, yes?"

"Exactly… Well, sort of. She said she was afraid… afraid that I'm just trying to prank her for the fun… or play her. She thinks I want to be the one guy that'll get her and leave her."

"Are you?" Sirius asked.

"Are you kidding!" James whirled around to face him. "You're mad if you think I am!" He said, offended.

"After the Winter Ball in fifth year, she heard a group of sixth year Ravenclaws talking… They were talking about her… er… _availability_." Remus said. "And they were doing it none too kindly… It was one of the boys that she'd sort of agreed to go with… She hasn't gone to any balls here since. I think she's afraid that the same thing would happen. I don't blame her. They were being real jerks about it."

"How'd you know about that?"

"I heard them, too. She doesn't know I did…." Remus sighed. "But I wish she hadn't… the look on her face…" He frowned at the floor. "I'll never forget it."

"She mentioned something about how she's heard guys talking." James sighed. "I won't do that to her, though… I just want her to give me a chance." He shook his head sadly. "But she hates me."

"Prongs! Did you not read the parchment?" Sirius said disbelievingly, taking it from Remus and waving it in James's face. "It isn't all in fun."

"Could be anybody."

Sirius snorted. "You must not have memorized it right while you poured over it earlier."

"What do you mean?"

"I think it's time for a kitchen run, eh, Moony? Wormtail? Let's go." Sirius said. "We'll leave our Prongs here to ponder our meaning." He dropped the parchment on James's bed on his way to the door. "If you don't get it, Prongs, then you're more thick than we all give you credit for."

James watched them go, wishing he could just go tell Lily flat out that he fancied her… Really fancied her.

But then… if she'd listened to anything he'd said out by the lake, she knew that.

And if she knew that, then it was all up to her to make the next move…

And if she really fancied him, like Sirius implied, then she _would_ make the next move…

Then… then, James could say he was happy.

>>>>

"Where is it!" Lily whimpered, searching desperately through her trunk. "I only had it yesterday!"

Alice, who was just walking through the door, stopped. She smiled innocently at Lily. "You know, you just reminded me… I left… downstairs…." She turned and ran back through the door. "OI! MARSHA! Leslie_, Marie_!"

Everyone in the common room looked up at her. "Don't look at me!" she cried. "Turn back around… gits." She scanned the room. "Come here!" she said impatiently to her friends. She pulled them from the common room. "Lily knows that her parchment is gone!"

"She- oh, _no_…"

"Merlin, what should we do?"

"Act like we don't know anything?"

"You twit, don't you remember? We were going to get them together."

"Oh, right…"

"Look!" Marsha whispered. The other three turned to glance down the corridor. "What if we let him know she's looking for it?" She watched as the four Marauders made their way slowly towards them, heads together, talking quietly.

"Because then, he'll panic-"

"And do something about it!"

"Or better… what if we let both of them know…"

"And then… she'll have to go to him, because of what's on it…"

"But what if she-"

At that moment, the portrait hole opened and Lily tumbled out. "_Bloody_… oh, hey, guys." She pushed herself off the floor and dusted off the robes, looking quite calm. "Ready to go down to dinner?" she asked brightly, noticing the Marauders for the first time. Without waiting for an answer from her friends, she hurried down the corridor, avoiding James's eyes.

The other four nodded distractedly.

>>>>

"Urgh, I really do _hate_ studying." Lily sighed, late the next night. "Loathe it, even."

"I'm sure there is something else for you to, ah… do." Sirius snickered, doing his best to fight back a smile. He glanced suggestively over at James, on his left. James scowled at him.

"Shut it!" he mouthed. He wanted nothing less at that moment than to talk to Lily. He'd wanted to ever since he'd talked things over with the Marauders, but hadn't been able to find her. She seemed to be anywhere and everywhere James wasn't.

It was the first time he'd seen her (other than just before dinner in the corridor the night before), so he nearly jumped up in excitement when she joined her friends at their table (that the Marauders had helped fill only moments before, oh-so-conveniently).

Lily, however, had only looked up at him once, when she'd sat down, with her books. He could tell, though, that something was on her mind. It was in the way she bit her lip and stared at her quill.

James knew he couldn't wait much longer before he did something… He had to do something.

Both he and Lily threw down their quills after a while. Lily leaned back in her chair, James slouched over in his.

They waited a few moments before taking a deep breath.

Lily was the first to speak. "Look… erm… James-"

"Yeah… I know, we need-"

"To talk." they said together. "Yeah."

Alice, Leslie, Marie, Marsha, Remus, Sirius, and Peter watched as Lily and James pushed back their armchairs and walked away together (albeit slightly awkwardly), like nothing was out of place. They supposed neither thought there was.

Leslie smirked disbelievingly. "Weird… They're-"

"Finishing each other's sentences…" Marie said in awe.

"You two do all the time." Sirius said, looking up from the chess board to stare at the twins.

Leslie flicked her black hair over her shoulder. "We're sisters. It's different."

Marie nodded, narrowing her bright blue eyes at him. "They've never even really been mates and they already do."

"It's like they're… one person… in… two people…" Marsha said quietly, turning the words over in her mind. She smirked. Did they make sense?

"Does that even make sense?" Peter asked… Oh, he could be creepy sometimes.

"Yes!" six voices cried. They'd been rather annoyed with poor Peter all day- it seemed that all he'd been capable of was either knocking things over or dropping his wand, shooting sparks over everyone's work, burning it all to ashes. Yes, they were very annoyed with him.

"Oh." He shrugged and left the table where everyone was grouped.

Alice watched as James held the portrait open for Lily… It was sweet. Very sweet. "I wish we could hear." she said wistfully, with a self-indulgent grin.

"Ooh! How very Marauder-ish of you!" Remus said proudly, with a smirk.

Alice raised her eyebrows. "I'm not sure if I'm going to take that as a compliment or not."

Their table was one of the loudest in the common room, laughing.

>>>>

"Erm… so, anyway…"

"I wanted to-"

"Talk to y-"

"You about-"

"The parchment?"

Lily froze, a sudden feeling of dread overwhelming her. "Parchment?" She did her best not to panic.

James gulped. Oops… "Erm… what parchment?" He tried to grin… unsuccessfully. She was giving him _the_ look- the one that made it impossible for him to lie. "Yeah… That parchment." he said nervously.

Lily held her breath, trying not to panic. "You… you read it?"

With a sigh, he looked at the floor. "I didn't mean to, honestly, Lily- I just… I saw that you left it under the tree Saturday, so I was taking it to you… But when I was rolling it up, I sort of… saw a word or two-"

"And you couldn't help yourself, right!" Okay, she was very close to panicking.

"I'm sorry." was his answer. He put his hands in his pockets miserably, hanging his head. He knew he'd never have a chance with her now.

Lily turned to the nearest window, resting her head on the frosty glass. "I don't even know what to say right now." she whispered. She thought she'd lost it, yes… but she didn't know- or rather, she had hoped nobody would have read it… And of all people! He must have known who the paper was about… He certainly wasn't thick.

"Did… did you mean it?" James asked breathlessly. He bit his lip anxiously, waiting for her reply.

Lily didn't make any indication that she heard him. He swallowed hard and watched her fearfully. He felt so many things all at once around her… more than any he'd ever felt at once. Hopeful, disappointed, content, wistful, happy, sad, scared, bold… and _very_ full of contradictions.

After waiting what seemed like an eternity, James started to turn away, to head back up to the tower, when Lily turned to him. She was blinking furiously, though he couldn't tell what she was thinking. "Yes, I did! But you know what?" she whispered dolefully.

James stared at her apprehensively, opening his mouth to reply-

"I am so embarrassed… that I don't know if I even want either of us to do anything about it!" She looked so sad… She looked so vulnerable. James wanted nothing more than to hug her right then, to tell her everything was all right.

"Lily, I-"

"No, I… can't."

She turned away, in a flash of red hair, but he still saw the tears. Numbly, he watched her run down the corridor, then he chased after her. "Lily!"

They were in the Gryffindor corridor.

"What!" She spun around, a few feet from the Fat Lady. Now tears were openly streaking her face and she looked ready to curse or hit him.

"I want to try."

"Try what?"

"To show you that I'm not-"

"You have to prove it to me." Lily said in a low, challenging voice. She disappeared through the portrait hole, James directly behind her.

"I can, Lily!" He called over the noise of the common room… It seemed the entire house was there. Struck with a sudden idea, James looked around the room. _All the better, _he thought.

She stopped, but didn't turn. "Can you?" she said weakly.

He took a few steps closer. "I-"

She turned to look at him, a smirk firmly in place. "I don't know if you can."

"_I_ know I can."

"Is that right? What else do you know?" she asked, her eyes softening.

"I know that I've always like you. I know that I want a chance to know you… I want _one_ chance." he stepped a little closer, dimly noting that that noise of the common room was steadily dropping. "One chance! If you don't like me, or want to know me at all after that, then that's your thing. But I just want to try…" Now the noise had gone down significantly. "I know that I don't want you to be afraid anymore… I just want you to see that I'm not like those other guys… I won' t leave you- I won't forget you. And I bloody well won't do anything you don't want me to…" Here, he paused and motioned around the room. "And I'll do anything to prove that to you. Here. Now. In front of all these people."

Lily looked around the room, taking her eyes from James's for the first time. Every eye was on them- and there were plenty of them. It was quiet, too; no one was talking or laughing… it was a little unnerving.

"Anything?" she asked, looking down at her shoes. She blushed, feeling very shy.

Without waiting for an answer, she smiled up at him and pulled him closer by the front of his robes. "And how is this?" She brought his face (which was one of complete shock and disbelief) to hers, wrapped her arms around his neck.

James grinned and surrendered to her kiss… It was sweet… he never wanted it to end.

Alice, Remus, and Remus were the first to start cheering loudly for the couple, who had the attention of the entire common room; the rest joining in some time after.

"Is that all I have to prove? 'Cause I'm thinking I don't mind at all." James grinned roguishly at her.

Lily laughed and looked down at the floor shyly for a moment before looking back up at him.

"Since all are here to hear… I want to ask you something, Lily." James said ceremoniously. He put on his quirky smile and took her hand, kissing it. "Would you go to the Winter Ball with me this year?"

Lily, too, put on her most individual smile, taking his other hand in hers. "I do believe I will." She took a step closer. "I'd _love _to, in fact." She got up on the tip-toes, to kiss him again.

"About bloody _time_!" Sirius yelled, smirking.

Cheers once more echoed around the tower, so that even if someone wasn't in the room, they knew something big had happened… And if they weren't in the common room to witness such a miracle, they got _every _minute detail shortly after.

Lily blushed and smiled up at James. "I guess it is."

> > > 

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Soooo! What did everyone think? You know, my birthday is in... two weeks. Guess what a good present would be for me! A REVIEW! Oh, won't it be fun? grins


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